Hurt Pain and Suffering
by Summers-Sunrise
Summary: What if Edward left again at the end of Eclipse, when he saw Bella crying over Jacob? Will Bella survive again? Can Jacob put her back together one more time? What happens when she sees the Cullens again? R
1. Pain

Hi, this story has been annoying me for a long time now so i just had to type it out.  
Tell me you're thoughts, i've never written a Bella/Edward story.  
The future chapters wont always be in Jacob's POV.

Review =]

-Summer-

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**Summary:**

**What if Bella couldn't just 'cry' out the part of her heart that belonged to Jake?**

**What if it Edward couldn't stand her pain so he left?**

**Leaving her alone again.**

**Will Bella survive?**

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B.P.O.V

Prologue.

At some point of the night, I remembered the promise I'd made to myself early this morning – That I would never make Edward see me shed another tear for Jacob Black. The thought brought on a round if hysteria which frightened Edward more than the weeping. But it passed too, when it had run its course.

Edward said little; he just held me on the bed and let me ruin his shirt, staining it with salt water.

It was taking too long; I thought the part of me that was broken for Jacob would cry herself out. It never came; there was no end to the tears and sobs.

Some how the tears ran dry and left my body aching, the sadness I was hoping I could cry out didn't seem to leave. It was refusing to let go; I was refusing to let him go.

That made me sob tearlessly for an endless time.

The morning came something was wrong, besides being bundled up in the blanket there was nothing there. I held my breath to listen more intently; there was no sound, nothing but the howling wind outside the window.

My already throbbing heart picked up and my breathing became wheezy.

Something was wrong; something was missing.

He was missing, his breathe, his touch.

I opened my eyes – slowly, afraid of what I was about to find.

The unexpected sunlight blinded me; I sat up looking around, for the one and only person that could cure my unseeing eyes.

Nothing.

I never saw again.

J.P.O.V

Late afternoon, this day was the worst. Even worse than getting attacked by a stupid bloodsucker, the day before.

I hated being injured. People were coming and going, checking on me. My bones were healed but Dr Fang had told me not to phase for a while.

I just lay there in bed; I hadn't slept that whole night.

Bella's words were playing over and over in my head like a broken record.

"_The worst part is that I saw the whole thing – our whole life. And I want it bad, Jake, I want it all." _ I winced as the memory stung me, the way she tightened her arms around me and said_ "I want to stay right here and never move. I want to love you and make you happy…" _

It didn't matter so much that Bella'd chosen the leech over me. That torture I could live with for the rest of my stupid, too-long, life.

But it did matter that she was giving everything up for him.

Letting her heart stop beating forever and her skin turn into crystallized rock.

Someone else. Someone different.

Not my Bella.

But if he killed her…

A shudder ripped through my shoulders and down my spine, making me grunt at the pain.

I could only imagine the pain and agony I would feel if she died but the thought of _him_ killing her… It was enough to make me phase in my bed.

I heard the phone ring in the kitchen, I made no attempt to get up and answer it. Nothing could get me out of this bed.

Billy answered it, there was a short conversation, next thing you know he's swinging the door open and wheeling himself in.

"Jake?" he whispered.

"What do you want?" I sighed keeping my eyes firmly shut.

"That was Charlie…" he continued to whisper.

"Stop whispering dad!" I snapped, opening my eyes to glare at him.

I knew he was about to say that Charlie invited him to go fishing.

Bella would be with the leech and today was actually sunny.

"Just go fishing dad, I don't give a crap what you do" I said curtly.

"He didn't ring to ask me to fishing!" Billy growled back.

"Well then what do you want?"

"Edward left again. Charlie rung the Cullen's but no one answered, Carlisle has left the hospital as well. E-Edward left a note." That caught me off guard. I was off the bed in an instant, the pain a long lost memory.

"B-Bella?" I managed to choke out.

He gave me an apologetic look and shook his head.

"She's in her bedroom, he said she hasn't moved all day" he was back to whispering.

I slipped past him and out the front door.

"Jake?" Billy called out as I got on the motorcycle, I turned around and watched him wheel out the front door.

"You're taking me too." It wasn't a question it was an order.

I dropped the bike and grabbed the rabbit, skidding to a stop in front of dad. He was taking too long so I got out, picked him up and placed him in the car, then shoved his wheelchair in the back.

The car skidded along the roads of La Push then finally we were on the highway to Forks.

"Are you sure you should be out of bed Jake?" Dad asked, as I weaved in and out of traffic. I didn't answer; there was only one thing on my mind.

Bella.

Finally I skidded into her driveway and slammed on the brakes.

I got Billy out of the car and into his wheelchair but I didn't push him.

"I'll get Charlie" I called out, already reaching for the door handle.

Charlie opened it, he looked upset, hurting but at the same time murderously angry.

"Jacob…thank god you're here" he sighed, "…shouldn't you be injured?" he finally noticed.

"Where is she?" I cut in.

"In her room. She hasn't said a word all day, I found her like that 8am"

"Can you go get Billy," I said already climbing the stairs, taking 2 at a time.

Bella's bedroom door was shut; I took a deep breath before I creaked it open.

There she was, curled up in a little ball, her knees up to her chest and her arms snaked around her torso. It looked so familiar; the memories flooded into my head, I knew what was to come after this… the hurting hasn't even began to start.

I walked around her bed; her face was blank, just staring out the window.

"Bella" I sighed, sitting down and stroking her face.

She didn't look at me, not once. It was as if she wasn't there.

Her skin was pale with a greyish tint, and cold as ice to touch.

"Bells, you need to eat something" No response.

The door squeaked open and Charlie popped his head in.

"Anything?" he whispered.

"Not yet. I'll bring her down soon" I said.

Charlie closed the door and resumed his conversation with Dad, something about Dr Cullen.

I stayed in her room with her until late at night.

She hadn't moved; the only difference was that her eyes were closed now.

Charlie came up again.

"Jacob?"

"I'm staying here tonight Charlie" I said keeping my eyes on sleeping Bella.

"A-Are you sure?" he whispered, probably unsure if he should trust a teenage boy in his teenage daughters room.

"I'm not leaving" I clarified, there was no way in hell I was leaving Bella in her time of need. Regardless what Charlie said.

"O-Okay…I'll drop Billy off then" he sighed and clomped back down the stairs.

I stayed that night, sleeping on the floor but holding her hand.

I heard her cry out at one point, it was sad; heartbreaking… she called out his name… pleadingly. But my guess is he didn't return; she had tears streaking down her face when I woke, but still she was in a tight ball.

After an hour of sobs she quietened down, her sobbing became uneven breaths and her eyes slowly blinked open.

For a moment she looked straight at me, and for the tiniest portion of a second I thought everything was going to be all right. Her face seemed cleared and her eyes back to their original chocolate brown.

But I was wrong, the light flicked off; quicker than it flicked on, the clouds seemed to gather and she went back to looking like a zombie.

7 DAYS PASSED.

They were gruelling, never ending, the worst 7 days of my life.

I have no idea how Charlie took it last time; she was the same as the first day I got there. She didn't move from the bedroom, I hadn't seen her eat a single thing nor drink a drop of water. The doctor came again, and said the same as last time.

Big things like catatonic, which scared Charlie and he sent the doctor packing.

It was 10pm, a week since _they_ had left.

I walked down to the kitchen to make some dinner for myself.

"Jacob?" Billy always asked.

"Yeah, it's me"

"Anything?" he also always said that too.

"Nothing, she's asleep though," I said taking a bowl of cereal and slumping down in the couch next to him.

"You heard from Billy?" He asked.

"This morning, he's okay" I said then yawned.

"Okay that's it…you're going." Charlie suddenly jumped to his feet and was standing over me glaring.

"What?" I asked perplexed.

"You are going home tonight"

"No I'm not Charlie"

"Yes you are. You need a decent sleep, you can come back tomorrow morning"

"I'm not going anywhere," I said angrily.

"Yes you are. Jacob she will be fine for one night, please, just go home have a sleep then come back anytime, even 5am is fine" he said throwing his hands up in the air.

I was considering it; I really did need a change of clothes and a shower.

"Just go Jacob, then come back," Charlie said switching the TV off.

"Okay but you call me if ANYTHING happens, if she wakes up crying again" I said pointing at him threateningly.

"Just go Jake, have a shower and a sleep" he walked me to the door.

I got into the rabbit and started to La Push.

Dad was already in bed when I made it there, the shower was great and I managed to crawl into bed just before midnight.

I closed my eyes and drifted into sleep.

The piercing ring from the phone woke me, without even being fully awake I was standing in the kitchen.

"Yes?" I croaked.

"Jake…please…its Bella!" Charlie's worried voice startled me.

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A/N: **Be honest. Good? Bad? Terrible? =S**


	2. Suffering

**Disclaimer: i do not own any of the Twilight characters. Property of S.M**

This chapter is very fast, i dont really think it matches but i was desperate for Edward to come back.  
JACOB AND BELLA DON'T GET TOGETHER, THEY ARE JUST FRIENDS! lol  


Anyway i hope i havent ruined it.

Its not a great story but ... i had to try. =)

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I dropped the phone and ran out the door straight past the rabbit and the motorcycle. I pulled the heat from within and let it engulf me. Before I had even hit the trees I was running on all fours, going straight to Forks.

But I wasn't alone.

_Jake?_ Sam thought.

_No it's Santa Clause… of course its Jacob_ Leah snapped.

_What are you doing up? And what's you're rush…_ Before he could finish all my thoughts of Bella were up on display for him and Leah to see.

_Oh great! Here we go! Crazy Bella's back_ Leah whined,

_Shut up Leah_ I snapped.

_Jacob, tell me what's going on?_ Sam thought softly.

But I didn't have time to answer; I was across the road from Charlies.

_I have to go_ I phased before Sam could order me to stay.

I was going to burst through the front door but it was locked so I knocked loud and hard, tapping my foot impatiently.

Charlie opened the door and his face said it all, complete fear.

"K-K-K-Kit –chen" he pointed a shaky hand behind him.

I passed him and into the kitchen, there on the ground was Bella.

She was once again wrapped up in a tiny ball, but this time she was rocking back and forward. It was painful to see, she was hurting.

I kneeled down and reached out to pull her hair from her face.

My touch seemed to bring her back, her head slowly raised to look at me.

When her eyes met mine it was hard to not burst into tears. The old chocolate brown eyes I loved were gone; instead hurt and heartache had taken their place.  
My heart skipped a beat.

"Jacob…" she whispered "…he's gone."

The pain intensified in her eyes and then the tears came, she wasn't crying or sobbing instead she was howling and wailing. It frightened me, Bella always hid her pain but it didn't mean I couldn't feel it. Now she was letting it out, I found my heart breaking for her.

I pulled her into my arms and cradled her, rocking us both back and forward.

Praying she would survive this.

The wailing slowly turned into sobs and the sobs into whimpering.

Eventually she had cried herself to sleep.

I held her tiny body in my arms and carried her up the stairs to her room, and lay her down. "Please…don't leave me," she whimpered.

I wasn't sure if it was a dream but I didn't leave, I lay down next to her and held her tightly. I knew why she always held her torso; it was because she felt like she was about to fall apart.

A piece of paper scrunched up in her hand caught my attention.

I pulled it out and read.

Bella.

We have left. I write this without Edward's permission.

I'm sorry Bella, I'm sorry to put you through this again.

I have always and will always love you.

Please don't try and find us, all you will find is heartache.

I love you.

Forever.

Alice.

My hands started trembling, I dropped the note, letting it fall to the floor. And concentrated on Bella's slow heartbeat and her shallow breath's.

It didn't take long to control the heat threatening to change me.

I tried not to think of the note and how horrible and brutal it would have been for Bella to read.

I knew one thing for sure, if – by some miracle- I ever met Edward Cullen again, I will kill him. No questions asked, and I wouldn't do it for myself, I would do it for Bella, for all the suffering he caused her. I would kill him slowly and let him feel a tiny portion of what she is going through. Not only Bella but everyone else, Charlie is suffering right now. Every time that stupid-heartless-selfish, leech hurt Bella it hurt the ones that loved her.

I feel asleep just as light streamed through the window.

When I woke, Bella's face was flushed, from my body heat. I quickly got off the bed but pulled a rug over her.

Then tiptoed down the stairs to find Charlie had already left for work.

I had breakfast and made a piece of toast for Bella and took it, along with a glass of water to her.

She was awake when I go there, still staring out the window, at nothing but the rain.

"Bella, you need to drink something" I sat down beside her and held out the glass.

She shook her head and didn't even look at me.

"I'm not asking Bella, I'm telling." She took the glass from my hand and downed the drink in one gulp.

"Eat," I said holding out the plate. She closed her eyes and dropped her head.

"Please Bella?" I asked softly.

She shook her head.

"Bella…you need to eat. Charlie's getting worried and threatening to ring Renee" I said in a gentle tone.

Her head snapped up and her eyes looked furious, but before she couldn't yell at me the fury burnt out and the pain washed over her.

"I'm sorry Bella. You aren't going anywhere…you can stay here as long as you like" I pulled her into my arms and let her cry.

"Y-You can't leave me Jake," I was startled to hear her voice but it too held the pain her eyes did.

"I will never leave you." I swore.

And I didn't.

For 15 whole months, I stayed with her.

**B.P.O.V**

**15Months passed.**

I loved this feeling, the speed, and the exhilaration. But mostly I loved hearing _his _voice.

_Bella, you could have hit that car. _He said in an unhappy tone. Everything _he_ said, he was either telling me off or yelling at me.

_But I didn't _I retorted to myself.

I spun around the corner and skidded to a stop in front of the rabbit.

"Bells?" A familiar husky voice said walking out the door.

"Hey Jake" I pulled the helmet off - the one _he _had given me, all those months ago.

"Extra classes?" He smirked.

"Yeah, I had to grab some extra books too. How was work?" I asked shrugging out of the leather jacket also.

"Didn't have any today,"

I wandered inside to my bedroom upstairs. There I dropped my heavy bag with the books and flung myself on the bed.

_His_ voice was getting clearer again. A few months ago it nearly disappeared; that was the reason to me wanting to suddenly go to college.

Now I was here, at Portland Oregon. Living with my best friend, in a small three-bedroom house. Jacob had been amazing, he stayed with me for the harder months; the ones I can't even bring myself to remember.  
To say the least, I was a mess; Charlie and Renee were discussing treatment for me. That's were Jacob came in, he pulled me out of the cage I had locked myself in.  
I never fully escaped though, at nighttime I could hardly breathe, the nightmares were worse. I could hear _his _voice in my head.  
_"Isabella Swan, I promise to love you forever – every single day of forever. Will you marry me?"_

I woke up screaming most nights, sweating or either shaking so much that my body would ache in the morning.

The memories I fought so hard to forget during the day, haunted me at night. I could never escape, no matter what Jacob said, even if he stayed up the whole night talking to me, I couldn't escape the memories.

But with all the sadness there was anger, anger at myself and also at him.  
Because I felt like everything he told me was a lie. I can remember when we got back from Italy and I had my epiphany. I was positive he loved me. I was sure that he was only afraid for my soul, and all the human things he didn't want to take away from me. But how could I believe that he loved me when he left again, leaving me alone, shattering my heart into nothing. So I was angry at him, furious I could say, but still unconditionally in love with him, he will always own my heart.  
And that hurt more than anything, that the one I loved was causing me the most pain.

"Bells? Come on, you have classes at 10," I woke to Jake leaning over me.

"Huh?" I mumbled.

"It's morning, you fell asleep last night" he hauled me up.

"What's the time?" I asked stretching.

"8…you feeling okay? You look kind of pale," he grinned, I rolled my eyes.

"Funny Jake, real funny." I grabbed a change of clothes and headed to the shower.

Once I got downstairs Jake was zipping up his leather jacket.

"Where are you going?" I asked tying my hair up.

"We're going to breakfast at the café…" he said.

"But you have work"

"We have breakfast then I start work," he grinned.

"Oh okay… I feel like eggs," I said pulling my bag over my shoulder.

We walked out to the garage where the rabbit and two motorcycles stayed. Jake let out a low whistle.

"Seriously Bells, where did you get the money for these babies?" He ran his hand over the bike.

"Ha! Never you mind, just be thankful you got one," I laughed pulling on my jacket also. For Jacob's birthday, I traded in the two old bikes and my old Chevy truck, with a little extra cash I brought us each a Kawasaki Ninja 250R.  
Jacob's was Black, and mine was a deep blue.  
I jumped on and started the engine, loving the sound as it roared to life.

"See you at the Café." He called out.

"Try not to take too long little boy" I called taking off out the driveway and into the drizzling rain. I knew if Jacob saw me driving fast he would freak out and threaten to hide the bike, but if he thought it was a race, then he wouldn't care.

_Bella! Slow down! _His beautiful velvet voice growled. I ignored him but sighed at the sound of it.

I twisted in and out of the busy rush hour traffic, Jake staying hot on my tail. I had learned how to ride properly before I left La Push, now I rode the motorbike everywhere.  
I leaned into the turn and shot around the corner.  
The College car park was 5 blocks away, a set of lights changed- _Bella! Don't you dare! _The beautiful voice snarled. I noticed a police car on the other side of the road and I slammed on my brakes, managing to stop in time.

His growls were in harmony with the growling of the motorcycle.

Jacob pulled up next to me, and smirked.

"Bring it on tampon!" I laughed; no one would have been able to hear me besides Jake (it was something Seth said to his sister when they had a argument once.)

The lights changed and we both took off, side by side, he pulled into a driveway and disappeared, I continued along the road, and finally I pulled into the carpark.  
Under the shelter of the huge roof, was Jacob, his helmet under his arm and branding a huge grin. Reluctantly I pulled in next to him and pulled my helmet off.

"Whatever you win," I sighed.

"Say it." He took my book bag off me and slung it over his shoulder.

"You're the best" I huffed walking towards the Cafe.

We found a table and sat down, Jacob ordered nearly everything off the menu while I went for an omelette.

"You're so paying," I laughed while he inhaled his food.

"Sure, sure"

We finished eating then I noticed the time.

"I have to go… I need to go to the library before class." I said standing up.

"Okay… that's cool. I'll see you at lunch. Give me a call if you need anything" he yelled as I walked out the door.  
Ever since we got to Portland I made Jake carry a phone around, it wasn't anything flash but as long as he knew how to answer and call me, then I was fine.

I rushed to the library, dropping my overdue books off and picking up 4 more I had on hold. I noticed the time… 9:59am. I had 1minuet to get to my first class, and it was on the other side of campus. I was never going to make it so I tried to ran.

Luck must have been on my side because somehow I managed not to fall over once, but that luck must have ran out.

I made it to the class at 10:10, I flew through the doors, my lungs were on fire from the run and my hair was in a crazy knotted bun. But that wasn't what made me freeze, what made my heart to skip a few beats, and my skin turn colder than … ice.

It was the young man standing next to my teacher; at the head of the class, his golden eyes fixed on my face. His skin was pale white and there were small black rings around his eyes.  
A beautiful face...

"Carlisle" I breathed.

"Uh excuse me, you're late. Please take a seat," the professor said.

Somehow I managed to drop myself into an empty seat, Carlisle continued to stare at me like I was a ghost.

"Dr Cullen, you were saying?"

"Oh…Uh…I have moved here from California with my family, and I will be teaching a few classes on campus for a month then I will be working at Portland Hospital." I continued to stare at him and every few seconds his eyes would flash to me.

"You have children, yes?" the professor asked in a booming voice.

"Uh yes. 2 daughters and 3 sons" His eyes fell on me again, but I was a statue, I couldn't move.

"Are they going to be attending this college Dr?"

"Yes, they will ALL" he looked straight at me with a hard expression "…be attending this college."

"Well we look forward to that. Now if you would like to speak or ask Dr Cullen any questions, he has an office across the hall from my own, feel free to have a chat with him. And make the most of it students, having such a wonderful Doctor here is very rare."  
The class continued, for an hour and a half, I stayed frozen to my seat.  
I needed to get away from here, I could see the surprise on Carlisle's face when I walked in, they didn't come looking for me. I was just going to cause them more dramas. I had to leave, to get away from Portland and go back to Forks. Jacob would understand and Charlie wouldn't mind. The bell rung and students started flowing out the doors, I quickly pushed myself out with the crowd, not sparing another look at Carlisle. The horde moved down the hall and towards the front of the main building.

Once I broke through, the main doors I heard a voice calling out my name.

"Bella! Bella please…wait!" It was Carlisle.

"Carlisle?" Another chiming voice hit me like a brick wall.  
I continued to push my way through the other students. Finally I broke free, the café was just across from me, and all I had to do was get my helmet and ride away, and never come back.

"Bella!" Carlisle's voice yelled again.

I sprinted into the small café running straight into Jacob, I fell backwards and narrowly missed knocking my head on a table.  
"Bells?" he asked.

"Where's my helmet Jake? I n-need to go. Now!" I scrambled to my feet.

He reached behind the counter and held it out.

"Where are yo going?" he asked.

"Away," I called already out the door.

I had a feeling he would follow me, I was trying to get across the lot faster when I something caught my attention.

It was Carlisle, standing between a shiny black Mercedes and a red convertible.

The gaping hole flared up and I forced myself to look away, before I could see any of their faces.  
"Bells? What's going o-" I turned to see Jacob running after me, he stopped dead in his tracks, his nostrils flaring and his hands shaking. He slowly turned in the direction to Carlisle and the two cars.  
I didn't stop for long though, I jumped on the bike, letting it roar to life and taking off, not even bothering to put the helmet on. I passed Jacob, and the two cars; I couldn't bring myself to look, but I'm sure I heard someone growl.

Then I was out of the lot, and on the road.

The wind whipped at my face, my hair trailed out behind me. I pushed the bike faster, as i did the gaping hole flared and burned, i needed to get away.

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**Review please! I need to know if i should continue or not.  
****=]**


	3. Deja Vu

**Hi everyone! first i would like to say a huge Thank You too: Lover of Literature - you're review was ... amazing, to say the least. It made my head swell up to 20X it's normal size =] but then i was faced with the task of writing a third chapter. Under any other circumstance it wouldnt have been a problem, but i found my standards were so high that i was struggling to reach them. So i would like to apoligize if i have ruined this story, i guess i might have tried too hard.  
But Thank you 'Lover of Literature' you're kind words made my day/week.**

Please tell me if i have gone overboard. I will try and update again soon. =]  
Thank you all for reviewing! Love you all for it!

Disclaimer: i do not own Twilight Characters. Property of S.M

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B.P.O.V

I flew along the quiet Portland streets; the only sound was the roar of the motorcycle.  
Carlisle's expression was lodged in my head, shock, horror and even sadness.  
It was easy enough to see they didn't come looking for me, maybe they expected me to stay in Forks my whole life. I pushed those thoughts out of my mind, I couldn't think about _them._

_Bella, slow down! You are going to fast. _A familiar voice said loud and clear.  
This was the first time I got angry about hearing his beautiful voice; it made me mad to think of him.  
Why did he have to show up now? Now, when I had just started accepting that I was going to be alone. Now I was doing what I always done, I ran.

Back to Forks, back to my old life; back to nothing but memories.

The flash of a black car caught my attention. The car was driving along side me, the tinted windows so dark I couldn't see anyone inside. But I already knew who was inside; _he _was inside, most likely driving.  
I inched down the accelerator and took off ahead of the car, twisting around the sharp bends towards freedom.  
I could see the car in my mirrors, staying close behind me; I pushed the bike faster trying to escape.  
Couldn't he see me trying to get away? Couldn't he take the hint? I didn't want to see him… at least; I don't think I do anyway.  
I spun around the street corner, only slowing once I could see our house. I pulled into the garage and left the bike running.  
One fleeting glance over my shoulder confirmed the black car hadn't turned the corner yet. I was in my room in an instant, shoving clothes in the giant bag. I ran back down the stairs, to leave Jacob a note, explaining my sudden need to leave.

_Jacob…  
I'm sorry to leave suddenly. I know it's not fair on you. Please don't be angry, I couldn't stay.  
I'm sorry Jake._

_Love you._

_Bella_

I left the note on the table and went back to the rumbling motorcycle.  
I pulled on my helmet, hauled the heavy bag onto my shoulders, took a deep breath then flew out the garage doors and along the wet streets.  
There was no sign of the glossy black car. Maybe they left? Relief and hurt passed through me at that moment.  
I was thinking of Jake, and how I had put him through hell the last 15months, but he never left. He promised he wouldn't and he kept that promise, he never gave up on me. A horrible memory passed through my muddled thoughts,

"If I ever saw him again Bells, I would kill him. No questions asked, no matter who was around,"

He couldn't have been serious, could he?  
I thought back to that night in La Push; he had nothing but sincerity in his eyes.  
My stomach lurched and then tightened into a knot, I slammed on the brakes and spun the bike around, heading straight for the college car park.  
_He has to be okay…he has to be_. I chanted over and over.

I leaned into the last turn, taking it faster than I ever had. Finally I broke into the busy car park, my eyes raking over the last place I had seen the trembling Jacob.

Then I saw them, there was a small grouping circled around two people, Jacob and Carlisle. Even from a distance I could notice the tension, Jacob's hands and arms were shaking so much they were a blur.  
There were too many students for the bike to get through, so I took off on foot, pushing my way through the lunch rush. I could make out the cussing and irritated sighs as I thrust forward.

Finally I could hear the familiar voices, one bell like the other deep and husky.  
I continued to battle my way further, then I broke through the bystanders, and into the small circle Jacob and Carlisle were standing in.  
Carlisle had his hands up defensively, but there were two people standing on either side of him, Emmett and Jasper; both of them staring intently at Jake.  
A massive shudder ripped through Jacob's shoulders and down his spine. I rushed to his side. As I did, I could feel all their eyes piercing into me. If they didn't know I was here before, then they certainty knew now.  
"Jake…" My voice seemed to snap him out of his trance.  
He turned slightly in my direction but he didn't look at me, his eyes were flicking between the three Cullen's.

"Bella," Jacob sighed.

"Jake, you need to calm down. There are people watching," I murmured only loud enough for Jacob and the Cullen's to hear. Jacob's arms and hands were still shaking noticeably.

"Bella get away from it!" A voice I hadn't heard in 15months growled. This time it wasn't a voice in my head, it was real; he was real. Right in front of me.  
My dormant heart seemed to wake from its sleep and thump a disjointed rhythm.

I couldn't turn around; I didn't want to see his face.  
A growl rumbled from deep in Jacob's chest, but that seemed to irritate _him _more, because he growled back.

"Edward… stop," Carlisle spoke behind me.

I needed to get out of here, and get Jake away from the public, so I stood directly in front of Jacob, my back facing Carlisle, so I could block his path to _them. _

That seemed to aggravate Edward more, in an instant I felt something colder than ice take me arm, pulling me backwards.

"Edward!" Carlisle snapped. I tried to pull me arm free but it did no good, so I turned around, reluctantly to face him.

He was exactly the same, his eyes golden brown but washed over with anger.  
A perfect face, an inhuman face, a beautiful face.  
I wondered what he saw when he looked at me after 15 months, did he see the old Bella? Or does he see the differences?  
Jacob took my other arm and tugged me back to him, but Edward kept a hold on my other arm.

"Let her go!" Jacob snarled.

"You're not in control mongrel," Edward said in an even tone.

This was not like an average game of tug-oh-war; instead I was being pulled apart by two mythical creatures, it felt like déjà vu. Both of them were trying to be gently but my arms still hurt.

It seemed stupid for them to be fighting, especially over me. I guess nothing had changed.

"'..Leech." Jacob said in a low menacing tone.  
"You will hurt her dog!" Edward retorted.

That was my breaking point. I was sick of them both trying to SAVE me, especially when I didn't need to be saved.

I pulled away from both of them, trying to free myself, of course they didn't let me go, so I turned and glared at the both of them.

"Let me go," I hissed, my eyes flicking between the both of them. They still didn't release their grips.

"I said…let me go, right now!" Jacob tightened his grip a little then let my arm drop, wise of him. I turned to Edward, looking at his smouldering eyes, and ignoring the whispering between the audience.

"Please let me go."

His hand squeezed my wrist a little but he didn't let go.

"He's dangerous," He murmured, jerking his head in Jacob's direction.  
"You don't get to decide who I am with any more, and you certainly do not get to touch me! You lost all you're rights when you left me."

The pain was visible in his eyes; I couldn't bear to see it so I dropped my eyes to his hand holding my wrist.

"Let me go" I whispered, and he did, he let me go.  
I looked around at the massive group of students, all murmuring to each other and eyeing up Jacob and Edward. Probably trying to figure out what was happening.

My eyes fell upon a beautiful, yet sad face staring at me from behind Jasper.  
Her eyes were an echo of her brothers, pain and sadness.  
She stepped forward her hand slightly raised to me, I shook my head, fighting to keep the tears at bay.

Jacob wrapped his arms around me but I shrugged out from under it. I didn't need to be comforted; I didn't want to be.

"Bella…" I turned to see Carlisle coming towards me.

"Bella, I'm sorry. Truly I am," He said in a soft tone. He put a hand on Edwards shoulder, comforting him.

"Me too," I said in a shaky tone, then turned around and walked away, disappearing into the crowd of students.

I finally found my motorcycle, there were a few boys standing around admiring it.  
I slipped past them, took my bag and helmet and pulled them on, ignoring the pointing and talking.

"Bella… we need to talk," I looked up too see Edward standing in front of my bike.

I tried not to look at his eyes too long, afraid of what it will do to me later.  
I started the engine, keeping my eyes firmly on the ground.

"Wait…please," I managed to hear him over the roar of the bike.

He reached out to stop my hand but thought better of it and let it drop.

"Bella, please."

"What do you have to say?" I managed to keep an even voice.

"I need to explain why I left. I need you to understand…and I need to apologize." He couldn't see my face through the tinted helmet but he could definitely hear my racing heartbeat.

"Can we go somewhere a little less…public?" he glanced around at the growing audience. Most of them were girls watching Edward with lust filled eyes.

"No, you can say what you have to say,"

"Please?" he urged.

"Fine, my house at 3'oclock. But Jacob will be there also" I warned.

He smiled my favourite crooked smile and nodded. I could hear the thundering of Jacob's motorcycle coming up behind me.

I started to edge forward but Edward didn't move.

"I need to get past"

"Can you not…ride that thing? It very unsafe."

"I'll keep that in mind." I snorted.

Jacob pulled up beside me, glowering at Edward. "Need some help?" he growled.

"No, I'm fine…Let's go," Edward stepped slightly to the side so I could now pass.

I noticed his hands clench into fists as I took off ahead of Jacob.

Today was … eventful to say the least. All my worst nightmares and all my pleasantest dreams were rolled into one morning.

Now, I had invited Edward over. I don't even know why I accepted his request. I was angry with him still, and right now I was gearing myself up for another heartbreak.

How am I supposed to forgive someone I still love unconditionally but hate for hurting me?

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**Reviews?**


	4. Wrong Impressions

Disclaimer: Characters are all property of the talented Stephenie Meyer.

Also, i would like to apologize for the very long wait. My mind completely blanked, and i was struggling to figure out how Bella was going to react to Edward and vice-versa.

But i havent ruined it... please review. I need to know you're thoughts.

Thank you all so much! You all rock!

Summer

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**B.P.O.V**

"Bella. Don't you see what's going to happen?" Jacob's anger seemed to burn out and he was now pleading.

"Nothing's going to happen Jake." I said for the hundredth time.

"Damn it Bella!" The anger seemed to be back. His fist slammed down on the small coffee table, two of the legs snapped under the intense force.

"Great Jake! Break the table…" I growled, standing up to walk away.

He grabbed my wrist, forcing me to face him.

"Its not up for discussion Jacob," I snarled.

"You're setting yourself up for another breakdown Bells! You wont make it out a third time… cant you see Bella? He will do it again, he will leave you broken!" He roared.

His grip on my wrist got tighter with every word.

But it wasn't my wrist that hurt, it was his words. They were like whips, lashing at me from every direction.

Could it be true? Was I setting myself up just to fall back down?

He saw me flinch at his words and continued, "…Not even broken! He will shatter you're soul and heart. Bells! You can't let him in. Don't fall for it!" His voice was a little calmer now, his grip relaxed and he took my hand in both of his, holding it to his warm cheek.

"Please Bells. I'll ring Charlie if I have too." He threatened, i knew he was just trying to relax the tense atmosphere but it had the opposite effect.  
It made me see red

My head snapped up and I snatched my hand out of both of his, glaring up at him.

"I am not a child Jacob! You can't just ring my father and think I will do as I am told! Both of you do not tell me what to do!" I yelled, my voice breaking twice.

He looked taken back at my random outburst.

"Now Edward is coming and I will hear him out. That is all I will do. You can make the decision if you are here or not." I whirled around and stormed up the stairs, leaving Jake to think.

I had another shower, trying to calm myself down but nothing seemed to work.  
Slowly I got dressed and lay on my bed. I felt bad about yelling at Jake, he didn't deserve it. Especially after everything he has done for me the last 15 months.

There was a light tap on my bedroom door; I glanced at the clock 2:45.

"Bells?" Jacob murmured.

"Come in Jake." I called, sitting up. He peeked through the door. By his expression I could see he had been thinking about everything I had said earlier. He came in and sat beside me.

"Look Jake I need to - " He raised a hand to cut me off "Hold on, let me say something first Bells."

"Sure sure." I said. He took a deep breath held it in, then let it out in a gust.

"Bells… I've been debating if I should say this or not. But I-I think I need to be honest." He was scuffing his foot back and forwards agaisnt the carpet, his eyes cast down.

"What is it Jake?" I whispered.

"I really don't want you to see him Bella. Its not just about you, it's about everyone… everyone that gets hurt whenever you're hurt."

A pang of pain twisted in the pit of my stomach again, twisting uncomfortably.  
Jacob was speaking the truth; I knew that everyone around me suffers when I do.

"I-I don't want to sound selfish but what if next time I'm not around to save you? I love you Bells but I can't sit around and watch him rip you up again… none of us can." He reached out and stroked my cheek, wiping away the tears.

"I do love you Bella, always." He gave me a half smile.

"I know you do… I can understand what you're saying… but I need to do this Jake, I need to hear it for myself." I wiped away the tears and pushed myself off the bed, he kept his head lowered, avoiding my eyes.

"I'm sorry, I'm not doing it to purposefully hurt you. I just need ... closure."

He nodded his massive head slowly, still not looking at me.

I wanted to ask if this was it, if he was leaving me. I wouldn't hold it against him, he cared for me for so long.

"So?" i managed to whisper.

"So, what?" His voice was heavy, as if he has been crying. I stayed quiet, unable to ask if he was going.

"I'm not leaving Bells... i – can't." He looked up and half smiled. He got to his feet and gave me a big bear hug, kissing the top of my head.

Just as we got down the stairs the doorbell chimed, leaving both Jacob and I frozen, my heart thumped loud and clear. Jacob seemed to snap out of his stupor before me and he walked to the door, his hands clenched into tight fists.

"Jake! No!" I said quietly running to his side and brushing his hand off the doorknob.

"Go and wait in the lounge, I'll invite him in." His eyes were a mix of black fire, burning into mine with too much intensity. He whirled around and walked back to the lounge. I took one deep calming breath and turned the handle, peeking out the door.

Standing under the archway of the door was Edward, his hair glistening with water droplets. His crooked smile lighting up his dark eyes.

"Hello Bella." He said in the seductive velvet voice. I shook my head mentally and regained control of myself.

_He doesn't love you. He left you..._

"Hello Edward, come in." I held the door open but he hesitated.

"Is something wrong?" I asked noticing Jacob standing at the end of the hall, glaring at Edward.

"Alice is in the car, she wants to see you also." He softly said.

"Sure, tell her to come in." Just as the words left my lips she was dancing up the patio, her once golden eyes were dark.

"Hi Bella." She smiled and waved, but also kept her distance.

"Hi Alice... come in," I held the door open and they both stepped inside, scrunching their noses as they did it.

"What a lovely house." Alice chirped, following me down the hall.

"Thanks."

In the lounge was the half broken table, the two legs snapped in three different places.

I winced as they both eyed it up.

We sat down, Edward next to Alice, me sitting on the opposite seat.

"So Bella... how are you liking college life?" Alice said, unaffected by the tense silence.

"It was good, I'm glad i went." I nodded and gave a half smile.

It was really uncomfortable being the centre of attention, and at this moment, I was.

Edward's eyes were transfixed on me, along with Alice. Jacob was sitting behind me but i can just imagine the holes he's boring into my back.

"Was?" Edward asked, gently.

Oh crap. I hadn't even noticed i said that, but no point in lying now...

"Yes. It _was_ good." I emphasized the 'was'.

"You're leaving?" Alice breathed.

I couldn't answer, all i did was nod my head slowly.

"Where? Why?" Both of them chorused.

"I – honestly ... don't know. Maybe back home." I shrugged, my fingers knotted together in an odd way.

"You're leaving because we came." Edward said in a clear, angry tone.

"Yes." I answered honestly. The silence continued on, both of their eyes fixed on me, Jacobs set on them.

"So you needed to speak with me Edward?" I finally mustered up the courage to talk.

"Yes..." He shifted slightly, "...can we go somewhere without an audience?" His eyes flicked to Jacob, which Jacob returned with a guttural snarl.

"She's not going anywhere with you!" He hissed.

"Jake, it's okay... we'll be in the kitchen." I took his hand and squeezed it, standing up and leading Edward out of the lounge.

Was it a bad idea leaving Alice with Jacob? Would anything happen? No, nothing will happen, they will most likely sit in silence; listening to the up and coming conversation.

My palms were sweaty and my knees shook but i leant against the sink and turned to face him.

His eyes tried to dazzle mine but i kept my shield up, Jacobs warnings and the memories of the 15months were like fuel for the fire. Anger seemed to be my best defence against him.

He finally spoke, after deciding his eyes weren't getting through to me.

"Bella..." His voice caressed my name, making the hair on my neck stand, "I – I can't even say how ... much i have missed you. How sorry i am." He bowed his head. I stayed quiet, unable to do anything but breathe and blink.

"Everything i do... i do it for you. No one matters to me as much as you do." His voice was clear but still sounded shaky.

"I left you 15 months ago because i couldn't bear to see you hurting over _him. _I didn't want to be the one that made you suffer, so i left. Now i find you at Portland, more beautiful than the last time." To my amazement my heart wasn't overreacting , my knees didn't shake. I felt ... normal.

I was still lost at my reaction – or lack of – that i didn't notice Edward come closer to me, until his hands brushed mine.

I flinched away from his ice-cold skin. The fury and anger was bubbling up, i tried to focus on the wallpaper, keeping my mouth firmly clamped shut. The last thing i needed was to loose my cool and start yelling.

"Bella..." He whispered, reaching out again causing me to step back, my back was pushing firmly against the kitchen bench.

"What do you want me to say Edward?" I asked still focusing on the wallpaper.

"I want you to understand Isabella. I want you to see why i did it." He pleaded.

I grinded my teeth together, taking all my restraint not to explode.

"I left for you." He whispered.

Those four little words was what made me see red. No matter how firmly i had my mouth shut, the words still seemed to slip out.

"You really believe that?" I hissed, still refusing to look at him.

"Yes. Please Bella... tell me what you're thinking." His voice was soft but a hint of irritation coated it.

"You don't want to know what i'm thinking!" I snapped.

"Of course i do!" He said the irritation becoming more easily to pick up on.

He asked for it then...

"You broke me!" I was so far beyond anger that it came out in a whisper "YOU shattered my heart! My soul! Now you walk back into my life and expect me to be okay with this? You claim to have left for me... why did you leave me Edward? What were you protecting me from? Victoria was gone. But still you left." I was standing up straight, my glare never faltered, my hands balled into fist's. He didn't look like he was about to answer me...

"What's the excuse? More distractions?" My voice was slowly rising.

"I – I left so you would stop hurting." He murmured.

I threw my hands up in the air, "You left to stop me from hurting? And to what? Torture me instead?" Sarcasm dripping from my every word. "Come on Edward, that's ridiculous – you know i loved you more than anyone in this world!" I laughed without humour.

"I couldn't bear to see you hurting over Jacob, i thought you were regretting you're decision to end the friendship... I really couldn't bare to see you hurting, so i took myself out of the equation. For you." His eyebrows were knitted together in frustration or concentration. His eyes dropping to the linoleum floor.

What?

He left so i could be with Jacob?

"Have you lost you're mind?!" I whispered breathlessly, i felt like the air had been knocked out of me.

"I just wanted you to be happy." He murmured, raising his eyes to mine, pleading for me to see reason.

I was lost for words, all the anger had vanished; disappearing as if it was never there.

The room was silent, the house was silent. Eerie, taunting.

I wanted to reach out and touch him, to tell him that my heart belonged to no one but him. But i knew that I couldn't trust him again, i really wished i could, but my heart had been shattered, completely obliterated into nothing. I was an empty shell.

His intense stare continued to penetrate me, trying to find out what i was thinking. I closed my eyes, enjoying the darkness, enjoying the time to myself.

He stayed patient, waiting for me to speak.

"I'm sorry..." I finally said opening my eyes.

"Bella, you have nothing to be sorry for." He reached out again but thought better of it and let his hand drop.

"I'm sorry for giving you the wrong impression." I said, gently.

"You mean-" He gasped, confused but i could see the hope in his dark eyes.

Slowly i shook my head, "I love Jacob, he is my best-friend, but I'm not in love with him. I never have been." I said calmly, still amazed that my heart wasn't over reacting, or even reacting at all.

The hope continued to grow in his eyes, i knew i had to put an end to that immediately.

How do i tell him that it still doesn't change anything?

Suddenly Jacob was in the room - behind Edward – his hands shaking a little and his eyes boring holes into Edward's back.

"I thought you would like to know that Embry and Seth are on their way down... they will be here any minuet." Jacob growled, lowly; his eyes never leaving Edward.

"Or now." Edward said, there was suddenly a loud knock on the front door. Jacob made no move to answer the door.

"You might want to go now..." I said once Alice appeared next to Edward.

"We'll stay." Edward said before Alice could answer.

"Edward, they won't be happy to see you. I think it's best if you go." I shuffled past him to the sliding door.

Just as I got to the sliding doors, they were opened. A very angry Embry stepping in and a cautious worried Seth following.

"What's going on Bells?" Embry grumbled, standing at my side, eyes set on Edward.

"Nothing..." I mumbled, very very uncomfortable.

"Seth." Edward dipped his head slightly.

"Edward and Alice were just leaving." I said, ushering them towards the door.

"Yes." Alice said tugging on Edward's arm to follow me.

I couldn't help but sigh once we escaped the tense room, I love the wolf pack, but they surely had rotten timing.

I opened the front door and stepped out onto the porch, Alice surprised me by kissing my cheek.

"I've missed you Bella... I hope i get to see you more." She gave me the pleading eyes, I knew i couldn't promise that we would, so i just nodded.

She danced back down to the car, disappearing inside. I heard the faint purr of the engine.

Edward walked towards the steps but stopped and turned towards me.

"Can i meet you again Bella?" He gently asked. He was giving me an option. Am i supposed to say yes or no? I knew if i said no, that he would make himself disappear and I will definitely never see him again. That thought scared me,

"Yes – Yes..." I almost shouted.

He gave a crooked smile at my eagerness, "I mean, we need to finish this conversation... without the audience." I nodded towards the front door.

"Yes. That might be better... How will i contact you?" The smile seemed to be permanent now, he was happy.

"You can call my cell phone..." I said patting my pockets looking for a pen.

"Bella..." He sighed, rolling his eyes.

"Hold on, I'll just go and get a pen." I started to reach for the door. Edward caught my hand and pulled me against him, i stiffened at the close proximity.

"Sorry..." He murmured, dropping my hand and stepping away.

"Just – uh – tell me you're number. My memories a little more reliable than a humans." The smile was back.

"Oh right..." I laughed a little.

I said my number once and he smiled.

"Thank you for agreeing to see me Bella... I will call you." He said simply.

"That's okay. Goodbye Edward." I didn't watch him walk away, I went inside and walked straight past the three whispering boys and into my bedroom; closing the door.

I collapsed onto my bed, feeling totally drained.

My mind was racing, going around and around in the same never ending circles.

Did i say the wrong thing? Did i not say enough?

Was it wrong to have agreed to meet him again?

I fell back onto my bed and gritted my teeth....

This is definitely going to be a long, long night.

I watched the hands on the clock slowly tick, time passing me by. The thoughts were repetitive now, almost flowing in my head like poetry.

Suddenly my phone vibrated in the pocket of my jeans.

BUZZ, BUZZ.

I checked the I.D it was a unfamiliar caller, normally i would ignore it but i already had a fair idea who it would be.

Scrunching my eyes closed, I flipped the phone open.

"Hello?" I whispered.

"Bella. It's Edward." His voice was just as clear and gentle as speaking to him face-to-face.

"Hi..." I squeaked.

"I was hoping i can meet you tomorrow?" Once again he was giving me the option.

I was biting down on my lips so hard, i was sure it was about to bleed.

I wasn't sure if meeting him alone was such a good idea...

"Bella, we can go somewhere public." He quickly reassured me.

"Okay, meet me at the Nova café, 9am?" I gushed.

"I look forward to it." He said softly, "Goodnight Bella." The phone clicked off and I sat and stared at it.

Bad idea? or Good idea?

No.

The bigger question is... am i actually going to go?

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**Please review. I promise to update sooner. **


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